5 Ways DISC Can Improve Your Relationship with Children

Adapted from PeopleKeys.com. Read the original article here.

If you aren't familiar with DISC, check out the DISC Assessment on this website for more information.

1) Appreciate children for who they are, not for who you want them to be. You have an advantage if you are the same personality type as a child because it makes it easier to build a relationship. When you share a common personality type, it’s easier to understand where that child is coming from, how they think, and how they feel. Conflict is still possible, of course, especially if you and the child both share dominant D personality styles. But, as a whole, understanding comes easier when you share common traits.

When you don’t share a personality style with kids, it takes a little more work to see eye-to-eye. When you have a working knowledge of DISC theory, you understand that if you have an I personality, you might be frustrated with a child who is shy or soft spoken. Or, if you have a C personality, the lack of organizational skills in a child might drive you crazy. Remember that you can’t change the nature of children’s personalities. Work with their styles, rather than against them. Appreciate the fact that differences in personality require different approaches, and be willing to adapt as necessary.

2) Remove emotional roadblocks that make it difficult for you to talk to children. There are bound to be times when certain kids drive you crazy. That’s ok—They probably feel the same way about you. DISC promotes interpersonal empathy that can diffuse anger, resentment, and petty annoyances. When you understand that differences are based on innate personality traits, it’s much more difficult to feel anger towards the other person. Realizing that someone’s behavior comes from an instinctual place can help prevent negative emotional reactions to them. Better still, when you are familiar with the ways that different personality styles best communicate with one another, you’ll be able to make your conversations more productive, open, and effective. To avoid potential difficulties, when talking with children, remember:

• D likes to be in charge
• I needs to be liked
• S needs stability
• C hates confrontation

Whether those traits apply to you or the child, you can find a way to recognize where your emotional reactions are coming from, and move past them in a positive and loving manner.

3) Be appreciative of children’s strengths. There are going to be things that frustrate you. But don’t let them get in the way of also seeing what’s amazing about kids of different personality types. Every personality type has amazing and admirable traits. Tell children that you see those traits, not just the things that frustrate you.

4) Give the right kind of advice. Here are a few examples of advice that, unless delivered with great patience and explanation, will fall on deaf ears:

• Telling a child with a D personality to stop being so bossy.
• Telling a child with an I personality to stop talking so much.
• Telling a child with an S personality to stop being so stuck in their routine.
• Telling a child with a C personality to stop worrying.

Make sure that any advice you give children is compatible their personality style. Finding the right way to frame the right kind of advice can be crucial, too. For example, S and C personalities require a more gentle (and less confrontational) approach than D and I personalities can tolerate.

5) Find activities you can enjoy together. Shared activities are a must. A few suggestions include: A D-style child might enjoy playing a competitive game. I-style children would like to spend time doing something fun and social. S-style children might like established routines and plans. Plan an outing to the museum for your C-style child.

Final Thoughts: In the end, the most important thing to remember is that all personality types have value. There isn’t one that’s “better” than the other.

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Resources:

• Toolbox Training (2020). "DISC Assessment"
• 123test.com (free online test)
• 512solutions.com
• DiscProfile.com
• OnlinePersonalityTests.org (free online test)
• Peoplekeys.com
• Strengthscape.com
• Wikipedia.org

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Musical Intelligence

Dr. Howard Gardner, a Harvard University education professor, developed the theory of multiple intelligences in 1983. Instead of prescribing to the traditional notion of intelligence based on I.Q. testing, he proposed the possibility of multiple intelligences. You can read about the different intelligences and find more resources about the theory here. This page focuses on musical intelligence. This information has been adapted from the book Multiple Intelligences & After-School Environments: Keeping All Children in Mind.

Musical Intelligence

the ability to relate to music through the enjoyment, creation, and performance of it. Someone with this intelligence, like Malcolm, could be called MUSIC SMART.

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A child like Malcolm who has this intelligence is likely to have these traits and interests: Frequently listens to music. Often has a television jingle or other tune running through his/her mind. Knows the tunes to many different songs or musical pieces. Has a pleasant singing voice. Can tell when a musical note is off-key. Can hear a musical selection once or twice and sing it back fairly accurately. Can easily keep time to a piece of music with a simple percussion instrument. Often makes tapping sounds or sings little melodies while working, studying, or learning something new. Plays a musical instrument. Enjoys live musical performances.

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Linguistic Intelligence

Dr. Howard Gardner, a Harvard University education professor, developed the theory of multiple intelligences in 1983. Instead of prescribing to the traditional notion of intelligence based on I.Q. testing, he proposed the possibility of multiple intelligences. You can read about the different intelligences and find more resources about the theory here. This page focuses on linguistic intelligence. This information has been adapted from the book Multiple Intelligences & After-School Environments: Keeping All Children in Mind.

Linguistic Intelligence

the ability to absorb information and communicate through reading, writing, speaking, and listening. Someone with this intelligence, like Liza, could be called WORD SMART.

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A child like Liza who has this intelligence is likely to have these traits and interests: Considers books very important. Was an early reader. Spoke at an early age. Is entertained by tongue twisters, nonsense rhymes, or puns. Enjoys word games like Scrabble, Anagrams, or Password. Does better in English, social studies, and history than math and science. Has written something recently of which he/she is proud or earned recognition. Pays more attention to billboards than scenery when driving down the highway. Hears words in his/her head before reading, speaking, or writing them. Often references things read or heard.

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Mathematical/Logical Intelligence

Dr. Howard Gardner, a Harvard University education professor, developed the theory of multiple intelligences in 1983. Instead of prescribing to the traditional notion of intelligence based on I.Q. testing, he proposed the possibility of multiple intelligences. You can read about the different intelligences and find more resources about the theory here. This page focuses on mathematical/logical intelligence. This information has been adapted from the book Multiple Intelligences & After-School Environments: Keeping All Children in Mind.

Mathematical/Logical Intelligence

the ability to use numbers and reasoning effectively. Someone with this intelligence, like Max, could be called LOGIC or NUMBER SMART.

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A child like Max who has this intelligence is likely to have these traits and interests: Responds well to math and science. Thinks in clear, abstract, wordless, imageless concepts. Enjoyed counting as a child. Can easily compute numbers in head. Likes games/brain teasers requiring logical thinking. Looks for patterns/regularities in the world. Believes almost everything has a rational explanation. Is interested in latest scientific developments. Is curious about how things work or why things in nature happen the way they do. Likes finding logical flaws in things people say and do at home and at work.

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Spatial/Visual Intelligence

Dr. Howard Gardner, a Harvard University education professor, developed the theory of multiple intelligences in 1983. Instead of prescribing to the traditional notion of intelligence based on I.Q. testing, he proposed the possibility of multiple intelligences. You can read about the different intelligences and find more resources about the theory here. This page focuses on spatial/visual intelligence. This information has been adapted from the book Multiple Intelligences & After-School Environments: Keeping All Children in Mind.

Spatial/Visual Intelligence

the ability to visualize and create representations of what one sees. Someone with this intelligence, like Stephon, could be called PICTURE or ART SMART.

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A child like Stephon who has this intelligence is likely to have these traits and interests: Enjoys drawing and painting. Passes time doodling. Responds well to color. Has vivid and colorful visual dreams. Frequently uses a camera or camcorder. Enjoys jigsaw puzzles, mazes, and other visual puzzles. Is better at geometry than algebra. Likes taking things apart and putting things together. As a child, played with Erector Sets, Tinker Toys, Lincoln Logs, Legos, etc. Has an instinctive ability to find his/her way around unfamiliar territory.

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Body/Kinesthetic Intelligence

Dr. Howard Gardner, a Harvard University education professor, developed the theory of multiple intelligences in 1983. Instead of prescribing to the traditional notion of intelligence based on I.Q. testing, he proposed the possibility of multiple intelligences. You can read about the different intelligences and find more resources about the theory here. This page focuses on body/kinesthetic intelligence. This information has been adapted from the book Multiple Intelligences & After-School Environments: Keeping All Children in Mind.

Body/Kinesthetic Intelligence

the ability to understand and master both gross motor and fine motor skills. Someone with this intelligence, like Becca, could be called BODY SMART.

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A child like Becca who has this intelligence is likely to have these traits and interests: Was an early crawler and/or walker. Has difficulty sitting for a long time. Learns best through hands-on activities. Is very physically active and/or well-coordinated. Has an inkling for one or more sports. Has a “daredevil side.” Loves being outdoors. Uses lots of hand gestures and body language in conversation. Likes performing (skits, plays, puppet shows, etc.). Is attracted to creative movement activities (dance, ballet, gymnastics, etc.).

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Interpersonal Intelligence

Dr. Howard Gardner, a Harvard University education professor, developed the theory of multiple intelligences in 1983. Instead of prescribing to the traditional notion of intelligence based on I.Q. testing, he proposed the possibility of multiple intelligences. You can read about the different intelligences and find more resources about the theory here. This page focuses on interpersonal intelligence. This information has been adapted from the book Multiple Intelligences & After-School Environments: Keeping All Children in Mind.

Interpersonal Intelligence

the ability to interact with and understand people and their behaviors. Someone with this intelligence, like Ian or Ida, could be called PEOPLE SMART

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A child like Ian or Ida who has this intelligence is likely to have these traits and interests: Warms up naturally to strangers. Is comfortable in a crowd. Has an easy time making friends. Likes to get involved in social activity (work, school, church, organizations). Is a leader in clubs, groups, etc. Is in touch with what is going on socially. Would rather go to a party than stay home alone. Is frequently asked for advice from others. Likes to teach others. Prefers group sports (volleyball, softball) over solo sports (swimming, jogging).

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Intrapersonal Intelligence

Dr. Howard Gardner, a Harvard University education professor, developed the theory of multiple intelligences in 1983. Instead of prescribing to the traditional notion of intelligence based on I.Q. testing, he proposed the possibility of multiple intelligences. You can read about the different intelligences and find more resources about the theory here. This page focuses on intrapersonal intelligence. This information has been adapted from the book Multiple Intelligences & After-School Environments: Keeping All Children in Mind.

Intrapersonal Intelligence

the ability to understand the self, including one’s feelings and motivations. Someone with this intelligence, like Ira, could be called SELF SMART.

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A child like Ira who has this intelligence is likely to have these traits and interests: Was aware of self as a separate identity early in childhood. Is particularly self-reliant, strong-willed, and independent. Has a special hobby. Has a special place to get away. Would rather spend a weekend alone in a cabin than at a fancy resort. Keeps a personal journal. Spends a lot of time alone meditating or thinking about important life questions. Contemplates life goals regularly. Has a realistic view of personal strengths and weaknesses. Has started own business or seriously considered it.

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Naturalistic Intelligence

Dr. Howard Gardner, a Harvard University education professor, developed the theory of multiple intelligences in 1983. Instead of prescribing to the traditional notion of intelligence based on I.Q. testing, he proposed the possibility of multiple intelligences. You can read about the different intelligences and find more resources about the theory here. This page focuses on naturalistic intelligence. This information has been adapted from Multiple Intelligences & After-School Environments: Keeping All Children in Mind.

Naturalistic Intelligence

the ability to recognize, appreciate, and understand the natural world. Someone with this intelligence, like Nikita, could be called NATURE SMART.

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A child like Nikita who has this intelligence is likely to have these traits and interests: Spends a lot of time outdoors. Has animals around the house (more than just cats or dogs). Likes camping, hiking, fishing, or gardening. Likes taking nature walks. Likes zoos, parks, trails, museums, etc. Watches nature shows on television. Is involved in an ecological organization. Loves watching birds/animals and following their habits. Is very aware of different kinds of animals, plants, rocks, etc. found in nature. Derives pleasure from natural phenomena like clouds, mountains, etc.

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7 SEL Skills with Which Youth Should Be A.R.M.O.R.E.D.

Published 6/24/2020.

This was developed in support of the Toolbox Training workshop, Promoting Social & Emotional Learning, which you can learn about more here. This content is also available via the free pdf book 100 Activities and Methods for Promoting Social & Emotional Learning in Afterschool Programs.

This page focuses on seven social & emotional skills with which all youth should be A.R.M.O.R.E.D. To learn more about social/emotional learning, check out this article here on the blog: “What Is Social Emotional Learning and Why Does It Matter?”

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There are seven social & emotional skills with which all youth should be A.R.M.O.R.E.D.:

Awareness of Self Regulation Motivation Others (Awareness of) Relationship Building Emotional Intelligence Decision Making/Problem Solving

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Awareness of Self These are activities designed to help youth to: Identify their strengths & limitations Develop accurate self-perceptions Develop self-confidence

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Regulation These are activities designed to help youth to: Manage reactions Address stress Learn impulse control

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Motivation These are activities designed to help youth to: Develop the ability to motivate themselves Set goals Tackle challenging tasks

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Others (Awareness of) These are activities designed to help youth to: Practice empathy Understand diversity and other cultures Recognize social and ethical norms

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Relationship Building These are activities designed to help youth to: Establish and maintain healthy relationships Develop communication and listening skills Practice cooperation and conflict negotiation Understand how to resist social pressure

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Emotional Intelligence These are activities designed to help youth to: Identify their own emotions Recognize others’ emotions Control their own emotions

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Decision Making/Problem Solving These are activities designed to help youth to: Expand their capacity to make good choices Recognize social norms Understand the consequences of their actions

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Resources:

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Click here for additional Toolbox Training resources as well as other resources and references about social/emotional learning.

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What Is Social Emotional Learning and Why Does It Matter?

Published 6/24/2020.

This was developed in support of the Toolbox Training workshop, Promoting Social & Emotional Learning, which you can learn about more here. This content is also available via the free pdf book 100 Activities and Methods for Promoting Social & Emotional Learning in Afterschool Programs. What Is Social and Emotional Learning (SEL)? “The capacity to recognize and manage emotions, solve problems effectively, and establish positive relationships with others.” –Joseph E. Zins and Maurice J. Elias, the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) Why SEL Matters There are proven benefits for youth who participate in social & emotional learning programs in school settings.

What Goes Up: Academic achievement –GPA and standardized test scores up 11% (CASEL, Edutopia) Social and emotional skills –up 23% (Durlak) Attitude toward self, others, school (CASEL, Durlak, Edutopia) Helping/prosocial behaviors –up 9% (Durlak, Edutopia) Emotional regulation (Go Strengths) Classroom engagement (Go Strengths) Resilience (Go Strengths) Self-confidence (Go Strengths)

What Goes Down: Problem behavior –down 9% (Durlak, Go Strengths) Aggression (Edutopia) Emotional stress –down 10% (Durlak) Negative thinking decreases (Go Strengths) Substance abuse (CASEL)

Resources in parentheses are detailed at the bottom of the page. A.R.M.O.R.E.D. There are seven social & emotional skills with which all youth should be A.R.M.O.R.E.D.:

Awareness of Self Regulation Motivation Others (Awareness of) Relationship Building Emotional Intelligence Decision Making/Problem Solving

Read more about these skills here. Other Toolbox Training Resources: Toolbox Training (2020). “What Is Social Emotional Learning and Why Does It Matter?” Toolbox Training (2020). “7 SEL Skills with Which Youth Should Be A.R.M.O.R.E.D.” Toolbox Training (2018). “100 Activities and Methods to Promote Social & Emotional Learning” Toolbox Training (2018). 100 Activities and Methods for Promoting Social & Emotional Learning in Afterschool Programs (free downloadable pdf book) Toolbox Training (2017). Promoting Social & Emotional Learning (workshop) Additional Resources and References: Aukeem Ballard @ Edutopia.org (2017). “When Mindfulness Feels Like a Necessity” Building Community: Social Emotional Learning and the Library (slide show) CASEL (Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning) (2017). “What Is SEL?” CASEL (Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning) (2015). “ What Does Evidence Based Instruction in Social and Emotional Learning Actually Look Like in Practice?” Center for Social and Emotional Education “Cultivating Caring Learning Communities” Centervention (2017). “Free Social Emotional Learning Activities” Francis Institute for Child and Youth Development and Metropolitan Community College (2014). Professional Development for Afterschool/Youth Workers. “Module 12: Social and Emotional Development.” Metropolitan Community College; Kansas City, MO. GoStrengths.com (2017). “What Is Social Emotional Learning?” Aimee Hosler (2014). TeachThought.com: “10 Team-Building Games That Promote Critical Thinking” The George Lucas Educational Foundation (2013). “5 Keys to Successful Social and Emotional Learning” (video) Emelina Minero (2017). “13 Powerful SEL Activities” Pinterest.com/toolboxtraining (2017). “Social and Emotional Learning” Brenda Priddy @ OurPastimes.com: “List of Motivational Games for Kids” Sequim School District (2016). “Social Emotional Learning – SEL” WallaceFoundation.org (2017). “Navigating SEL from the Inside Out – Looking Inside & Across 25 Leading SEL Programs: A Practical Resource For Schools And Ost Providers.” www.WeAreTeachers.com (2016). “21 Simple Ways to Integrate Social-Emotional Learning Throughout the Day.”